


fragile smiles

by emavee



Series: Dick & Dami Week 2021 [6]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is Damian Wayne's Parent, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, but he doesn't realize it :(, i mean maybe a little comfort but not a ton, they love each other so much but it's complicated :/
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 11:35:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30021183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emavee/pseuds/emavee
Summary: “Are you happy? In Bludhaven? As Nightwing? Are you happier now?”For Dick & Dami Week 2021: "Are you happy?"
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne
Series: Dick & Dami Week 2021 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198052
Comments: 8
Kudos: 83





	fragile smiles

Grayson is smiling. 

This is not necessarily a bad thing, and really Damian is glad that Grayson is happy. If he tries hard enough, he can even almost convince himself that Grayson’s eyes are lighting up because he’s reuniting with Damian. 

Grayson always launches into action straight away, as though he and Damian haven’t been apart for months, only exchanging messages every few days. Clearly he does not feel their separation as gravely as Damian does. That thought alone is crushing.

But Grayson is so much happier now. He is lighter, freer in a way Damian has never seen him before. The phrase "Flying Grayson" has never been truer before now. His smiles these days are so genuine, and Damian hadn’t even realized they’d been faked before.

How many times during that year when it was just the two of them did Grayson actually smile?

And maybe it’s just because Father is back now, and Grayson no longer has to grieve him or wear a mantle he’d never wanted. But Damian can’t help but wonder…

“Are you happy?” he blurts out when Grayson comes to visit one day. It is a ridiculous question; he obviously is, humming to himself with a spring in his step. 

“Huh?” He turns towards Damian, eyebrow arching, but grin never truly falling, just morphing into something confused and bewildered. “What’s up, Dami?”

“Are you happy?” he repeats. “In Bludhaven? As Nightwing? Are you happier now?”  _ Without me? Without a burden you never asked for, never wanted? _

“I love Bludhaven,” Grayson says simply. “It’s a little rough around the edges, but it’s my city. And,” he shrugs, “yeah, I can admit that I definitely prefer being Nightwing to being Batman.” He grins again, something playful and lopsided, blissfully unaware of the way that Damian’s stomach plummets to meet his shoes.

“I see,” he says, turning away. There is nothing more to say. He’d wanted confirmation, and now he had it. 

Grayson does not miss him.

Now Grayson is frowning, brows pinched tight. “Hey, you know it’s not because of you, right?”

Damian shrugs. “It’s alright, Grayson. I understand.”

If anything, Grayson’s frown only deepens. “No, no. I don’t think you do. What’s going on in there?” He leans forward, tapping his finger against Damian’s forehead. Damian leans back and away, ducking his head.

“You are happier as Nightwing. That’s fine. I know you never wanted to be my Batman.”

“I never wanted to be Batman,” Grayson says slowly, “not I never wanted to be  _ your _ Batman. I loved being your partner, little D.”

“But you did not love it enough to stay.”

Grayson’s face falls completely, and Damian doesn’t understand why he feels he has the right to look so devastated. It is Damian who has been abandoned and cast aside. Grayson’s the one who finally got everything he’d been wanting.

“I love you,” Grayson says. “But you have to understand, kiddo. I couldn’t stay here.”

“I do understand.”

“No, you don’t,” Grayson snaps. Damian nearly reels back from the frustration in his voice.

“Then explain it to me,” Damian demands. “You always say that talking is the only way to prevent misunderstandings.”

“I only had eight years with my dad,” Grayson says, gazing at something unseen and far away. “They weren’t enough. It’s never enough. I just want you to have a relationship with your dad, and I couldn’t get in the way of that, no matter how much I might miss you. I’d have just been out of place here, kiddo.”

“And instead  _ I _ am the one who is out of place. Father and I, it’s not like when it was the three of us—you, me, and Pennyworth. This place does not feel like my home, and I know that Father does his best, but—but it’s not the same!”

“I know it’s not the same,” Grayson says, smoothing back the hair on Damian’s forehead. This time Damian doesn’t jerk away. He feels frozen, stagnant. “It’s not meant to be the same. It’s going to be different, and maybe weird at first, but that doesn’t mean that you should give up on your dad. It just means you have to give it some time. He’s your dad, Dami.”

He’s not. He’s not Damian’s father, not in any of the ways that count. That role has already been filled, and he has no way to unfill it now.

“I don’t know him,” Damian whispers. Bruce Wayne does not match any of Mother’s tales or Grayson’s stories. He is not some great, infallible warrior, nor is he the stubborn but warm guardian that Grayson remembers. He’s Batman, all the time, and Damian is realizing that he has no clue who that really is. This man is supposed to be Damian’s father, but he is almost unrecognizable. 

“You will,” Grayson says. He sounds so sure of it, but Damian just can’t see it happening. Talking to Father is like talking to a brick wall. He is more likely to get good conversation out of Titus. 

“I am not so sure.”

“But I am. Do you trust me, kiddo?”

“Always,” the answer comes immediately. 

Grayson smiles once again, even if it’s sadder than before. “Then trust me on this one. You guys are so similar, and I know he loves you, Damian. Just give it some time. You’ll learn to understand each other.”

Damian doesn’t want to learn to understand his father though. He wants to go back. He wants Grayson and Pennyworth and his animals in the penthouse. Back when dinners were loud and messy, rather than silent, lonely affairs. Back when Grayson messed up his hair and made him eat ice cream after patrol. Back when they curled up on opposite ends of the couch for mandatory movie nights, only to wind up huddled together by the end of the film, Damian’s head against Grayson’s chest, fingers scratching absently at his scalp. 

He wants his family back.

“How can you be so sure?” Damian asks, feeling numb.

“Because it’s  _ you, _ ” Grayson grins. “The best partner in the world. How could he not love you?”

If Father does love Damian, then it is not the same way Grayson does. His love is so much closer to Mother’s love, and Damian has learned that that is not the type of love he wants anymore. Grayson has weakened him, made him crave kindness and understanding and open affection. Grayson has ruined love for him, has only made it a thousand times more confusing, just when he thought he was finally starting to understand.

Grayson rises to his feet, stooping to press a kiss to the top of Damian’s head. 

“I’ll try to visit more often, okay?” He’s smiling again, and it’s soft but it’s real. Grayson is happy. 

Damian swallows around the lump in his throat, unable to do anything but nod as Grayson leaves him behind once more.

**Author's Note:**

> and this has been dick and dami week 2021! thanks for reading, i'm sorry i ended on such a sad note i honestly didn't intend for it to go this way
> 
> please feel free to yell at me all you want. i'm mad at me too


End file.
